Do you ever feel that there is stuff going on that you know nothing about? That you live in a little bubble that does not permeate into the rest of the world? Yet, every so often, your bubble collides with that other stuff to make you think "Wow, I didn't know that was going on."  Enough already, you may be thinking or saying. What is she talking about? 

In the world of private adoption, where I sit every day, I have the opportunity to meet with many wonderful parents or parents-to-be, who are doing or pledge to do their best to parent their kids. This 'best' consists of persistence, consistency, love, angst, fear, learning, and never, never giving up. Despite working in the world of child protection many years ago and having my eyes wide open to the atrocities that may occur within that world, I am quite sheltered from it now. Thus, my bubble. 

So, when the news of a young man killing more than 20 children at an elementary school reaches my radar, I am not only 
shocked and horrified like everyone else that babies have lost their lives so needlessly (when is it needed?), but I am also grieving for the desperation and pain that imbued this young man.  I want to cry...for everyone. What happened to him to cause such an expression of outrage at life? How did his perceptions become so messed up? What went wrong in his bubble? 

Please people, continue to do all those good things you do for your children. Kalli Dakos, poet and educator, wrote a poignant piece in the Ottawa Citizen, Dec. 19, and so accurately stated "...children need someone who will deeply listen to their stories over and over again. They need to be heard by a loving adult who can help them create a bridge from loss and pain to comfort and healing. They need someone who will listen to their darkest secrets, and be there to hold their hands and love them through the pain...this alone comes with healing powers."

This is your calling as a parent and particularly, as an adoptive parent, whose children have experienced trauma at some level. Please heed Dakos' advice. Look at your children and ask yourself what they need from you to feel good and then...give it.

I wish everyone lots of love for the new year (that is if we are still here beyond tomorrow).  

As my kids would have said a few years back, "Peace Out."